Borderline Insane
by Kimiko Y
Summary: I'm not having a very good day, and I can give you a very detailed list as to why, because not only has my incredibly hot boyfriend dumped me and my flat completely trashed, I got held hostage by a bloody ninja with a kunai against my throat, life really can't get any worse...


**okay, new story! yay! I've kind of had this floating around on my computer for years now and i've never really felt the need to continue on with it. But i found it a while ago and decided to tidy it up a bit.**

**I've got another chapter and a half saved on my computer that i was thinking of up loading and a may continue with the story depending on how good the responses are, so remember to review!**

**anywho, I hope you like it!**

**Chapter 1 – Oh My F-ing God**

Okay, so yeah, hi. Just so you know, I never expected my day to turn out like this. It was one of those holy Mother of god days were everything goes wrong in your life. Yup, don't you dare lie and say you've never had one, we all have.

The first thing that had successfully went tits up was that I was painfully late to my painting class, which didn't help all that much since the tutor hated my guts already, it's not even my fault! There were road works so I ended up walking. The whole five miles… Not fun. But I suppose it wasn't all bad, seeing as everybody else had to draw some fat naked guy, and I got to draw a vase as punishment. Hell, I'd take a boring vase over that fatty any day, the guy had enough of an ego boost as it was, god knows why.

The second thing that had went completely wrong with my life was that my hot; oh-my-god-my-kneecaps-are-melting-boyfriend dumped me for one of his lecturers, who by the way, was at least twice my flipping age! I mean come on! Is it because I'm an art student and he's a medical student? Or was he simply bored with me? That stupid woman was a total slut anyways, despite being a University lecturer in medicine, something I am currently failing at not thinking about. That is also how I found myself in Starbucks sobbing into my best friends tummy on one of the corner sofa's, not caring in the slightest that everyone was probably staring.

"Sally! What do I do! I-I… ah shi-t!" I sobbed out, not caring that I made no sense what-so-ever. Sally just looked down at me and patted my head, not bothering to pull me up like she normally would.

"Hun, your going to have to speak in a language I actually understand, then tell me what happened in the first place." She spoke in a stern voice, taking on her role as best friend. I sniffed a little before looking up, but not enough that I have to relinquish her stomach.

"H-he, um… we met after his class was over and he said that he wanted to… to you know… break up." I sniffled again, turning my head into her stomach once again. "He said that he was in love with his flipping teacher! He said that he wanted to be with _her_ _more than me_!" I grumbled into Sally's tummy some more until she had enough and pulled me up, looking me dead in the eye.

"He's a bastard, forget him." She said simply.

"But how can I? Right now he's probably off shagging that thirty–nine year old arse with that stupid dyed hair! I mean seriously! Who dyes their hair!" I yelled, my angry mode kicking in. Sally simply rolled her eyes, already used to my mood swings.

"Jen, hun, _you_ dye your hair." She simply stated, ignoring my glare.

"Yeah, but mines red, which is much nicer than blond, plus she's old, old people shouldn't dye their hair!" Sally snorted at that, earning yet another glare from me.

"Christ Jen, where the hell did you get that from?" She asked, amusement dancing behind her light blue eyes. I simply pouted, whipped the remaining tears from my eyes and folded my arms firmly across my chest.

"It's true though…" Sally merely laughed, not even bothering to cover it up anymore. Sometimes I wonder why I'm even friends with this woman.

"Jenny, I get that your upset, but try to be serious would you? Acting like a kid can only get you so far, and besides, Dale was a dick." She's using my real name, that doesn't happen often, she must be serious, despite the grin plastered to her face.

"How the hell is he a dick?" I don't even know why I bothered asking her, everyone knew that she openly despised the man, I had never really understood though. Sally simply gave me one of those looks, the one's that my mother used to sent me every time she thought I was being daft. I didn't like that look very much.

"Because he is. That guy had no respect when it came to you, plus he treated you like crap. I will never understand how you could stand him for so long." She sighed, grabbing her coffee cup and draining the rest down in one gulp. I merely watched her drink, trying not to respond to that. It wasn't that I was unaware of his… bad side? I don't really know how to explain it. I guess I was just very good at ignoring the way he would sometimes treat me. I also guessed that it was what love did to you, but now I know that's a lot of bull, thank god.

"But Sall-y! He was _so_ hot! And he was a total sex god! I'm telling you, his d-"

"I don't want to hear how that sentence ends Jen!" She interrupted, causing the people around us to mutter in irritation at the amount of noise we were making.

"Surely there was more to your relationship than sex? I mean seriously, he dumps you and the first thing you start moaning about is his talents in the bedroom?" She questioned, eyebrow raised. At this I squinted my own eyes at her, trying to look as suspicious as possible.

"Why are you so concerned about what are relationship entailed, I thought you didn't like him, or care, for that matter." I leant forward slightly, arms crossed over my chest like some cheesy detective from the CBBC channel. Sally lent away as I got closer, both eyebrows now raised like I was some weirdo you met late at night down at the pub.

"I don't care! I just thought you wanted more from a guy than just the physical stuff? And aren't you meant to be depressed right now?"

She shook her head at me, her blond pony tail swishing from side to side as she sat back, tucking one leg under the other and looking out across the shop, probably eyeing up the cakes. I just huffed and sat back, taking a sip from my mug of hot chocolate, it wasn't fair, Sally was all happy with her boyfriend, and where was I? Moping over my newly made ex who had apparently been cheating on me with a woman who was practically forty, it didn't really do much for my ego. Sally had been seeing her boyfriend, John, for ages now, and had just moved in with him about a month ago, before that she'd been living with me in a tiny two bed roomed flat. I was happy for her, but now I was kind of jealous, I'd been wanting to get to that stage with Dale, but now that was clearly down the pooper, kind of made me feel a little helpless.

"Well enough of that Jen, you'll be fine in no time, that ass doesn't know what he's missing!" She said with a wink as she pulled on her winter jacket. I looked on in confusion before gulping down the rest of my hot chocolate.

"Where are you going so soon?" I asked, staring up at her as she prepared to leave.

"Oh, I've got an assignment I have to finish for tomorrow, and I promised John I'd go out to dinner with him." She responded, picking up her leather bag from the floor.

"But it's only four, you'll have plenty of time to finish even if you stay an extra hour!" I pouted. Sally laughed and gave me a swift hug, kissing my temple as she lent down.

"I wish, the stupid things going to take me all night, let alone dinner. I'm sorry I have to leave you hun, but I'll speak to you tomorrow, kay?" She asked, leaning down and holding my shoulders, like she was my mother or something.

"Fine, you'd better…" I muttered, like a little kid. And with a chuckle she left, leaving nothing but a few paper napkins and a used coffee cup.

…!...

Later that evening I sat curled up in my bed, laptop on my lap, ready to go. It was a Friday, and that only meant one thing, Naruto was being updated!

Okay, so I guess you could call me sad for watching a cartoon about ninja's when I'm a twenty – one year old adult, but whatever, I've been addicted since I was seventeen. What's even better about it is that this episode is the one where Sasuke _finally_ fights Itachi! This was like one of those moments that _everyone_ waits for! It was episode one hundred and thirty –nine. Though admittedly it had been dragged out for a while, but I was sure that this was going to be the decider, it just had to be!

Not that I was a big fan of the Uchiha brothers. Sasuke was a twat for abandoning his village and Itachi was an even bigger twat for killing his family. But what did I care? They were good fighters and it proved to be entertaining for my simple mind, apart from the annoying flash backs, they sucked.

I watched in excitement as the opening credits danced in front of my eyes, the songs were always really good too, even if I couldn't understand a word of it. As the actual story started I got even more exited and watched in some sort of childlike glee, pushing my (totally awesome and trendy) nerdy glasses further up my nose as they slipped down every so often.

I was about half way through when the phone rang, much to my dismay. I growled as the phone yapped away, calling me at the other end of my flat. With yet another low growl I pushed the computer to the side, not caring if I had paused it or not, I could always simply go back to where I'd left off once I got back.

My feet dodged my cramped, littered room and made my way into the narrow hall way and into the kitchen where the phone was still screaming at full blast, why I ever decided to put it up to maximum volume, I'll never know.

"Hello?" I moaned into the receiver, not bothering about politeness in the slightest, the bum had interrupted my Naruto.

"_Hi, Jenny! It's mum!" _replied the overly cheery voice in the background. The cringe couldn't have been held back if I'd even tried, that woman was too cheery for her own good.

"What do you want? It's ten o'clock at night, shouldn't you be watching CSI or something?" I questioned. I could hear her humming in disapproval but ignored it for the moment.

"_Don't talk to me with that tone young Lady. I only phoned to remind you that we're coming up on Sunday, so start cleaning the place, I know how you always neglect that till the last minute_." She grumbled out, I grumbled too, but luckily she didn't pick up on that part.

"Okay mum, firstly, I'm Twenty-one, you can't go around calling me 'young Lady' like I'm some moody teenager. And secondly, I am fully aware that you and dad are coming up on Sunday, you don't need to remind me every night before I go to bed." She sighed in the background, clearly not happy with my snappy response, but whatever, I was having a bad day. I'm allowed to be a moody cow.

"_Jenny, we do not call you every night before you go to bed, and its only ten, that's not very late at all."_ She's lying, it really is every night. My parents are totally mad.

"Yeah mum, I know. Listen, I was kinda in the middle of something so…" I trailed off, hearing my mum's exited gasp in the background, trying my hardest not to sigh.

"_Have you got a boy over there? Is Dale over? I'm so sorry to interrupt whatever it was that you were doing!" _ At that I simply groaned in mental pain. This woman was going to be the end of me.

"No mum! Dale is not over. W-we kind of br-"

"_Oh my! Are you cheating on him?"_

"Oh for…" Two deep calming breaths are needed here. "No, mum. I am not cheating on Dale, nor have I got another male in the flat let alone another living organism so please shut up so I can finish what I was going to say." Silence was all I heard from the other end, so I continued. " He dumped me today…" My mum gasped from the other end of the line before she started blabbing on about something that I honestly couldn't remember, I was to busy trying to forget about the whole dumping thing, but mother dearest was making that one a little tricky.

"Mum, I have to go, bye." I pushed the red button, effectively ending the one sided conversation. It may seem rude, but she probably hasn't even noticed, plus by now she should be used to it.

With a deep breath I placed the phone on the counter top and walked over to the fridge to get some orange juice out along with my preferred Pokka dot glass. It was only when I started pouring that I noticed something rather odd. The orange juice I was pouring was wobbling, along with the rest of the small kitchen. The wobbles grew until my entire floor was shaking beneath me.

_An earthquake! A fucking earthquake!... In Glasgow? _I screamed in my mind as the shakes got more violent and the toaster finally fell off the counter, my glass gave a jump before falling to the side, my orange juice spilling everywhere.

I looked around the kitchen in panic, not knowing what to do, let alone how it was happening in the first place. The shaking became more violent and I fell to the floor in a large crumbled heap, gripping the counter tightly as I sat up, looking around the room.

The picture next to my window had fallen off and had smashed upon impact with the tiled floor. My eyes squeezed shut as the noise of destruction only grew. How was this happening? This was Scotland for Christ sake! The last earthquake was ten years ago and the only people who had even noticed the fecker where the scientists and weather man on the BBC news! This wasn't physically possible! This stupid country is too boring for flipping _earthquakes!_ It only rained! That's it! No more!

I was starting to feel sick, my flat was falling down around me, the entire building might collapse, which would not be cool, I was on the bloody fifth floor, if the place did go down, I'd be dragged down with it!

The lights in the hall way and kitchen gave out, leaving me in complete darkness, the only light was from the streetlights outside my window. I gave a terrified squeal as I heard the plates in the cupboard fall out and smash all over the ground, including my precious Pokka dot glass.

I could hear the kitchen utensils in my cupboard smash as they rattled around in the chaos, the fridge rocked dangerously and toppled over, colliding with the wall opposite and taking a rather large chunk out of the thin plaster walls before crashing to the ground, the contence spilling all over the floor. Next door I could hear things falling over and breaking, I could hear my small TV fall off the coffee table and feared the worst. The streetlights outside started to flicker before finally falling dead, the sound of a crash floated up through the window and I was more than certain that a lamppost had just landed on someone's car.

I couldn't see a thing, the dull orange that the streetlamps were providing was now gone and I could feel fear rear its ugly head. I hit the floor with one nasty shake and curled up into a little ball, holding my head in my arms, my knees and shins grating against the glass from my smashed Pokka dot glass and plates. It hurt but at that moment I really couldn't feel it, adrenaline was coursing through my veins, telling me to move, but I really couldn't, I was stuck in that position, unable to move an inch.

The building gave one last shake before all was still once more, just like that. I still couldn't move, my muscles were frozen in place and my breathing was harsh, my glasses had fallen off at some point so my vision was blurry at best, not that I would be able to see regardless. It was a good ten minutes before I even considered moving, and then another fifteen when I actually did. I lifted my head and squinted in the darkness, looking for my glasses, I reached out and found them buried under a packet of frozen peas.

My kitchen was a mess, there was food and broken glass everywhere, my fridge was laying on its side next to the door, making my exit a little tricky, especially since it was so dark to begin with. I stood up on shaky legs and winced when I finally registered the pain in my legs from the broken glass, blood was staining my legs and I instantly regretted wearing shorts to bed, plus there was no way I was going to be able to get across the floor without shredding the soles of my feet.

I moved over to the drawer that usually housed a rather heavy duty torch, but found that it was currently face down on the floor, the torch seemed to still be working, thank god, I'd hate to think what I'd do if that had somehow broken that too, probably cry, now that I think about it…

As I made my way out into the hall, tripping a bit when I had to step over the awkwardly placed fridge, I felt like cringing. The hallway was just as bad as the kitchen, all the photo frames I had hanging on the wall had fallen and smashed, I needed a pair of shoes, badly. I expertly dodged the glass, bar maybe a few shards, and reached the shoe rack, and slipped on a pair of Doc Martians that I had, since right now, I felt they were just hardcore enough to deal with this shit.

I walked into the first room I came across, which happened to be my teeny tiny living room and sighed. The TV was face down on the floor, just as I had previously suspected. My mirror on the wall had fallen and smashed everywhere, the wooden CD rack I had was also on the floor, my vast collection of CD's were everywhere, and a few bits and bobs I had on the coffee table were pretty much everywhere.

So to sum it up, my flat was a wreck.

I kind of feared to take a look in the spare room, since it had sort of become my storage area since Sally had moved out, god only knows what mess that was in at the moment.

I was about half way up the hall, preparing to take a peek into the bathroom, when a rather loud thud caught my attention; it was coming from my bedroom. At the time I had just assumed that it was something just falling over, so I went to check, trusty torch in hand. I opened the door and walked in, hissing slightly at the sheer chaos that had erupted in my bedroom, I just knew that I was going to have to hire someone to clean this up, there was no way I could do this on my own. But what had really caught my eye was my laptop, it sitting on my bed, where I'd left it, but it was smoking, and would occasionally spark with electricity. Now, I wasn't exactly a genius when it came to technology, but I knew for a fact that computers didn't blow up if it was shaken, sure it might not work as well as it used to, but it sure as hell shouldn't be acting like I'd just casually decided it needed a nice hot shower. I made my way over to make a closer expectation, stumbling over the junk that was all over the floor, not noticing the shadows flicker in the corner of the room.

The computer was completely fucked; I'd decided upon further inspection, the screen had frozen on some scene where Itachi was laying dead on the ground with Sasuke looking rather distant. Well, that was that episode ruined, talk about an unintended spoiler.

"Dammit…" I muttered and slammed the screen down, ignoring the spark that came whipping out.

This really was a bad day, I decided. The sound of sirens filled the air and I had a feeling I'd probably get evacuated or something, which would just be _wonderful_, a perfect ending to a perfect day, standing outside in the freezing cold with nothing but an oversized T-shirt and a pair of pajama shorts, perfect for the December air at half ten at night.

I crawled over my bed to take a look out the window, my flat was kind of on a hill so I got a pretty good view of the city, and let me tell you, it wasn't all that quite either. At least a mile worth of streets where in complete darkness, the only light was from the fire engines and police cars, and they all seemed to be swarming around this area, which was not as comforting as I like it to be, it made me feel like I was in some danger zone or something.

It was just then, ironically enough, that I heard a floorboard creek behind me. I froze. My floorboards didn't creek unless someone stood on them. My heart literally jumped into my throat, my hand automatically tightening around the heavy torch in my hand. My breathing was ragged and I knew I wasn't just being paranoid. I felt the bed dip and I pounced.

Before I knew it I was laying flat out on my back, one hand wrapped tightly, painfully around my mouth as I screamed, my wrists held in the other as I struggled to free them, hoping to clobber my attacker with the heavy duty torch. However he easily overpowered me, my struggles and screams reached no one as he straddled my waist to help keep me from thrashing around so much. Tears burned in the side of my eyes and I couldn't help the sob that ripped up my throat, which showed just how stressed out I actually was, I never cried…

I looked up at the man above me, my torch was still on and although it wasn't facing him, it still lit up enough of his face to be able to tell what he looked like. If he was going to murder me, I wanted to know whom I was going to haunt for the rest of eternity. The first thing that caught my attention were his eyes, they were so dark, almost black, I could kind of make out his pupils, but only just, they had this terrifying cold edge to them that made me shudder, yet I couldn't help but notice the confused glint that he seemed to be trying to hide. Next was his long nose and fine features, from what I could tell he had thin lips, though I wasn't too sure since he had them pressed together tightly, that and he had on this collar thing that was kind of obscuring my view.

That was when I noticed it, it wasn't very easy to see in the light provided, but it was there, he had certain dents in his face, kind of like grooves really. There was only one person in the entire universe that had those particular features, and he was a fucking cartoon character!

I had stilled by this point and was no longer crying and screaming like some rabid animal, so he slowly let go of my mouth, though the look in his eye was warning enough to make sure I kept my mouth shut. I continued to look up at him in some sort of stunned shock as he removed the torch from my hands and sat it to the side. It was only then that I really got a good look at the man, that collar from before, it wasn't just some weird top that he had on, it was a cloak, I'd caught a glimpse of a rather unique looking cloud when he'd lent over to grab the torch. His hair was a pitch black too; his hair was tied back and had left some shorter hair at the front to fall out and around his face, coming just past his chin. Plus, I have no idea why I hadn't noticed it before, but he had on a headband, and not just any head band either, I noted, it was a scratched Konoha Head band.

I was going fucking insane.

That was the only explanation I could come up with. My brake up with Dale had obviously hit me harder than I'd thought. In reality, there never really was an earthquake, it was just a figment of my imagination to cope with the stress, which had to be it, nothing else seemed to be rational. I was dreaming, I'd clearly fallen asleep during Naruto and even the phone call from my mum had all been an elaborate ruse cooked up by my overactive imagination.

Though honestly speaking, with those piercing eyes looking down at me, and the pain in my legs from that glass earlier, I was finding it slightly too difficult to believe that this was all some ill – developed dream. And if it wasn't then I'd have to face reality, and that would be that Itachi Uchiha was currently sitting on top of me in my bombsight of a bedroom.


End file.
